Friendship – Myth and Reality !


article_friendship_myth_reality

Life is but a lone desert without the kind sharing of friends through thick and thin days. A friend is the greatest masterpiece of nature, as said by Philosopher Emerson. One need not be a poet or philosopher to realize the value of a friend. Bliss can never be enjoyed fully without friends nearby; the same way a heart is not lightened of its burden if there is no one to share your sorrow. Whenever we are in any distress, the first person to sympathize us is friends. The first person to inform any good news is also a friend.

Since friendship is related to emotion, it can create some problem, too, beside its charm.  If you have clear conception about the meaning of friendship, about how much you deserve from your friend and how much you can offer him it may lessen many misunderstanding and problems amidst friends. There prevail many different ideas, or we can say myths, about how friendship should be. To discuss these ideas, we will see that reality is different from these conventional ideas. When the difference between these ideas and reality is clarified, the friendship will be much more charming and natural.  Going through some of these conventional ideas about friends in the light of reality, the matter will become clearer.

Intimate friends will share things in every sphere of life:
This conventional idea is not sensible in the modern urban life. Family friends and professional friends are different for the majority nowadays. The friendly relationship with the neighbors is also different. You make friends from a completely different arena in case of religious practice. Friendship with different people at different phases of life is a natural thing. Psychologists say that two different persons having the same interest in all matters is very rare. Even a very close friend of yours can have a leisure pursuit and interest different from yours, which has no connection with your interest. It is nothing but the manifestation of childish insecurity to expect an all-time dependable friend. To rely on one friend in all circumstances may sometimes cause misery. In any attempt to strengthen the social circle of one friend will result in depression for the other friend. Therefore, it is always wise to have many friends instead of one.

A true friendship is that which lasts forever:
This concept is not always right. The childhood friends or the school life friends are most cases lost in the later professional life. Again shifting to a new area creates new friends.  It is clearer in cases of working women. The friends in educational life or professional life may change completely when a woman leaves the job and becomes a full-time homemaker. However, this part time friendship is no less important.  Worthy and pleasant friendship with different people can be built up at different phases of life.

Platonic relationship between friends of opposite genders is impossible:
This concept is not always true as well. Psychologists say that platonic relationship between friends nowadays is often seen.  Men and women make friendship based on their interest. However, the Psychiatrists warn that it is quite difficult to maintain the relationship keeping it away from sexual desire. When you start to like someone, his personality may draw you towards him; it may create a sexual attraction for him. That does not mean you have to work accordingly. If you can hide your feelings, you will probably be saved from further trouble.

Blood is thicker than water. Relatives are more intimate than friends are:
This concept is not also true. Brothers or sisters may not have any similarity in their thoughts and views. Their parents are the same-that is the only similarity they have. It is often seen that a friend comes forward with the helping hand faster than a relative does because friendship develops on the basis of likeness or interest, whereas relatives are connected in blood. Blood can be thicker than water, but when it clots, it becomes useless because of its viscidity.  Therefore, most of the times, you would notice that the way a friend understands you or feels you, a relative never does the same.

Good friends need to be contemporaneous:
This concept is not true, too. A young lad of 26 can build up a strong relationship with a mature man of 50. Moreover, the relationship can be very complementary.  The friendship between two different generations can bring some extra advantages for both. The old man can be a source of inspiration, wisdom, intelligence and advice, and the young can give him exuberance and liveliness of the young.

A friend in need is a friend indeed:
It is true most of the time. However, there can be exception sometimes.  The friend who comes to help you in your difficult days, the intensity of his friendship lessens as soon as the danger is over.   The friendship of hard days is no more found in good days, opine some Psychologists.  A good friendship depends on ‘give and take’.  Friends exchange support, inspiration, and sympathy with each other. Nevertheless, there are people who want to sympathize others but do not want sympathy from others. There are such people as well who want subconsciously that the friend may never get rid of his troubles so that he can give him sympathy. When the person gets away with his difficulty that so-called friend subconsciously sabotages the positive changes of his friend with the sole purpose of getting the friendship unchangeable.

Regular contact is essential for maintaining intimate friendship:
it is not true as well. It is often seen that friends are staying far apart from each other. There is no chance of meeting frequently. They meet one another long after. The intimacy they express even after the long gap, anyone would think that they are always together. In spite of the long gap, the friendship remains the same intimate as long as they consider each other unique.  The idea that you cannot make new friends with age is not correct. You, in fact, can create new friendship, as you grow older. Again, a new wonderful friendship can be built up after you end up with your active professional life. There is little chance of misunderstanding when you can differentiate these wrong conceptions and the reality about friends.

Thanks for reading.

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