Most of our problems and complaints with other are related to our relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could get along with all the people in our lives? The truth is, like most areas of our life, better relationships also require attention and some skills. These FIVE things may seem insignificant, but they can bring a big change in your relationship with others!
Many of us dream of becoming great speakers, but how many of us try to become a better listener? The truth is, a good listener can influences others more easily than a good speaker. Everybody wants someone to listen to him. Most people interrupt others when they are speaking, or just pretend to listen. But if you are genuinely interested in what others are saying, they will feel valued and accepted. They will trust you and open up to you. You will be able to influence them easily.
Using your intelligence not to win arguments, but to avoid them:
Actually, this advice is from Confucius himself. The truth is, you may satisfy your ego by winning an argument, but you will never win a friend. In fact there is a saying that every time you win an argument, you lose a friend. The greatest men in the history did not defeat others with logic or force; they won them over with their kindness. So don’t waste your time and energy trying to win arguments, be smart and never get into an argument with others!
You meet a person. He is talking to you, but he looks grim. You don’t quite know what to think of him. What is going on inside his head! Maybe he is upset about something, maybe he is bored, or maybe he just doesn’t like you, you think. Then suddenly, he looks straight into your eyes and breaks into a big, genuine smile.
How would you feel? All on a sudden, you would know everything is okay. Your feelings about the person would change instantly. You would warm up to him and feel closer to him, won’t you? Such is the power of smile. A genuine smile can break all emotional barriers in an instant. So ask yourself, how often do you smile? Does your smile light up your eyes? Or do you have one of those fake plastic smiles? Promise yourself, from now on, you will never be so stressed, so preoccupied, or so closed that you can give everyone you meet one genuine smile.
Saying ‘I am sorry’, and meaning it:
How many times have you realized that you have made a mistake, that you shouldn’t have said or done something, but could not bring yourself to say ‘I am sorry?’ Most of the time our ego tricks us into thinking that admitting a mistake is kind of like accepting defeat. So either we don’t say sorry, or we say something like, ‘I am sorry but I only said that because you said this and that…'(i.e. it is really your fault). So it doesn’t work, and often creates more distance between us and the other party.
Just try saying ‘I am sorry’ once, sincerely and unconditionally, and discover its magical power! This one sentence, when said unconditionally, can make all anger and hurt disappear. It will be like the misunderstanding never happened. And the other party may admit his mistake too!
Controlling the evil tongue:
In other words, don’t say nasty things about people behind their backs. Gossiping, backbiting or gibot is not only a serious offense in Islam, it is also a relationship destroyer. Just think, do you trust the so-called friend who says nasty things about other friends when he is talking to you? Do you think he is not doing the same thing to you behind your back?
We are supposed to be like mirrors to other people. If you do have to point out people’s shortcomings, it is much better to gently point it out face to face, if you think they will take it the right way and try to overcome them. Otherwise, it is much better to concentrate on your own shortcomings, because after all, the only person you can really change is yourself.
source: Quantum Method
Thanks a lot for reading.
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